London - (Illuminati Mess): Secret analysis of mobile phone records has thrown up a shocker in the latest unravelling of the Iraq WMD weapons inspector's 2003 mystery death.
Apparently Mossad sources had been bugging the MoD scientist's link to local Oxfordshire smack dealer 'Ten Squid Deal Pete' for a number of years.
And on the day Kelly went for his customary constitutional on nearby beauty spot Harrowdown Hill he actually 'bumped into local village idiot David Cameron.'
The unscheduled rendezvous took place at the Hellfire Club Mount, legendary ancient burial place of Illuminati scandals.
The disturbing revelations (Chapter 666, Verse 9/11) have emerged amid mounting furor about No 10's role in a sordid cover-up.
This weekend Lord Hutton's 70 year gagging order of Kelly's postmortem details has been dubbed a massive hand relief-job for grandees of the Pope JP2 Lodge.
Officially Kelly died of a small slit to his left wrist and 'over-ingestion' of the prescription opiate propofool (sic).
"Yeah, conspiracy nutters might read that as shooting up a dodgy smack hit", a TinFoilHattersAnonymouse.con blogger commented today.
The mind control freaks' website has also posted a revised 21st century children's ditty in honor of Hutton's spectacular foray into perversion of the course of justice:
Simple Simon met a spy-man going to see Blair;
Said Simple Simon to the spyman "How's the WMD scare?"
Said the spyman to Simple Simon "Show me first your trainee"
Said Simple Simon to the spyman "It's just a stooge of Dick Cheney!"
Tony B Liar takes center stage at the Chilcot Inquiry this Friday.
