Ugly slapper who defiled war memorial is jeered

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Saturday, 21 August 2010

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Wendy Lewis, the most disgusting woman in Britain

A really disgusting woman who urinated and performed a sex act on Blackpool Cenotaph was booed on her way to court to face a charge connected with her outrageous acts.

Wendy Lewis, 32, of Princess Street, Blackpool snarled at peaceful demonstrators, most of whom were war veterans aged 70 and above, screamed sexual abuse at them and even threw a glass at a photographer. The deranged harpy had already been convicted in her absence of outraging public decency because she was too lazy to get out of bed and come to court, and she now faced sentence.

As soon as news of the fat trollop's indecency spread, veterans descended on Blackpool Magistrates Court to give her a peace of their mind. Many of these heroes had fought in the Second World War. One, Royal Marine James Baker, 88, who served with 544 Assault Brigade and won the Distinguished Service Medal, said "This troll has disgraced her sex. She should go back to the bridge she crawled out from under and stay there."

The court had previously heard that the Lewis, who has been branded by newspapers "the most disgusting woman in Britain", committed depraved behaviour with an unknown man which had been captured on CCTV, though it required somebody with a really strong stomach to view the tape, on account of her hideousness.

The court adjourned sentencing for mental health reports to confirm that the ugly slapper is actually in possession of her wits.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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