Brit rubbish collectors could all be paedophiles or Granny rapists!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 11 August 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Brit rubbish collectors could all be paedophiles or Granny rapists!
"Please check you wheelies there could be an abducted child or raped Granny inside, RUBBISH!

Rubbish collectors in the UK have come under suspicion and must now undergo criminal record testing because they collect peoples personal rubbish including the neighbours discarded kiddy porno magazines?

The UK public lives in panic and fear of paedophiles picking up their children in broad daylight and the rubbish men do tend to "prowl" up and down streets picking up rubbish bins, but children?

The local UK councils have decided to test their dustmen for eventual previous paedophilic activities and the men are in outrage.

One dustman called Arthur, who's been picking up bins since thirty years did once admit to giving a local kiddy a sweety, he was fired immediately without his Christmas tip!

In fact dustmen have been ordered not to speak to kids, never to offer them sweets and only pick up the rubbish when mum or dad is watching (but they're never there, down the boozer maybe).

Not only is the UK public scared to death of paedo's, but they are also scared of strange men raping 80 year old female pensioners and dustmen have become prime suspects, if they only had the time?

There is still hope for some common sense, the dustcart usually doesn't stop for more than 10 seconds per bin, so either to abduct little children or rape Grannies there's not a lot of time!

As for the "dirty ol man" next door, well he's pretty nice apart from that soiled raincoat, greasy hair and those stained discarded mags found in his rubbish bin, UUGH!!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more