Isle of Wight News - Ventnor Childrens Festival in Doubt

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

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Ventnor Children's Carnival needs your chickens!

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the Ventnor Children's Carnival, that point in the Isle of Wight's social calendar that all children on the island look forward to, coming into Ventnor from as far away as Shanklin and Sandford.

This year's was set to be the biggest carnival ever staged, with Ventnor primary school staging a reconstruction of the battle of Britain using cardboard boxes and chickens.

Tragedy has struck at the eleventh hour, and Ventnor Primary school are urging local farmers to donate chickens, after Ventnor's local fox, nicknamed Colonel Saunders after his fondness for chickens, got into the primary school's coop and reduced the chickens inside to feathers and squawks.

"The Battle of Britain was to be the centrepiece of this year's festival," said primary school teacher Mrs Johansson, aged none of our business. "It will not be the same without the chickens. On top of this, the school's mayonnaise business will be severely hit."

Other aspects of the festival are unlikely to be hit, though the unseasonal dry spell has left the duck chase in doubt, whilst new traffic calming measures on Wroxhall Hill may well impact on the historic home made buggy race unless the steering on the carts has improved on last year's first ever race.

"There will still be a funfair," said organiser Pete Ophelia. "We've got wibbly mirrors, face painting and a ride around the esplanade on the back of a hand drawn cart."

There will be no clowns at this year's event, after the horrific scenes last year that left children requiring therapy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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