Isle of Wight News - Stuffing Factory Open Day

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 5 August 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Stuffing Factory Open Day
The Stuffing Factory when it was ablaze

The Isle of Wight Sage and Onion Stuffing Factory in Cowes is to have an open day next Wednesday (the 12th) to celebrate getting it's grand re-opening the Thursday after (the 5th). Island residents remember the day of the catastrophic fire that nearly ended over fifty years of stuffing making on the island.

"It was a lovely smell," said local resident Basil Garlick. "I figured Mrs Garlick was doing lamb for tea, even though it was a little early to be making it. I was most distraught to discover the stuffing factory were burning, it had lovely colours though - all reds and purples."

The open day will reassure local residents that the stuffing factory has introduced a whole host of safety features to the site on Marmalade Road.

"We have put fire-extinguishers on every corridor," said CEO Grant Sage, 45. "And had a sprinkler system installed. Finally, we have removed all sources of combustion, including the staff canteen."

It was in the staff canteen where the fire started last Octobershire, and the loss of the exquisite cuisine that the canteen produced will be sorely missed.

"I used to love Mary Cooke's dumplings," said Harry Onion, 19, son of sales director Larry Onion. "She made them on a Tuesday, and they were lovely. I'd stare at her dumplings for ages before having a nibble."

Tickets for the Open Day are free and can be obtained in advance at the office at Marmalade Lane, or on the day at the office on Marmalade Street. People without tickets will still be allowed entry for those who cannot get to either office.

"I'm hoping there will be a tasting session," said Garlick. "I'm partial to a bit of Sage and Onion stuffing."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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