A gang of apparently dyslexic or illiterate vigilantes from South London have been attempting to target suspected paedophiles, but to date have only succeeded in assaulting innocent members of the public.
The gang, calling themselves 'The Peckham Lunch-Mob', initially assaulted a Paediatrician as he turned up for work at his Camberwell surgery. Dr. John Dough, who also works at nearby St. Thomas' Hospital, fortunately only suffered cuts and bruises as a result of his ordeal.
'I was a bit shaken up', he confessed. 'They were yelling 'Paedo, Paedo' as they pushed me to the ground and another spray-painted 'PURVUTT' across the surgery door. I assume this was meant to read pervert.'
A Paedodontist received similar treatment in neighbouring Bermondsey, but in this instance the spray-painted message read 'PEEDOH'. 'I blame the parents', said the victim, who did not want to be named, 'or the schools. For goodness sake I just specialise in children's teeth. What do they teach kids in schools these days?'
Norman Foote, a Pedorthist from East Dulwich confirmed that he has been receiving hate-mail for several weeks. 'My wife and children have been jeered at in the street', he reported. 'I'm sure that it must be related'.
A police spokesman confirmed that the above cases were under investigation and in the meantime anyone with jobs beginning with 'PED' or 'PAEDO' needed to excercise extreme caution.
We can report that in nearby Peckham Rye Park, Pedalo- Operator Norris Sykes, will now be offering 'Foot-Propelled Boats' for hire until further notice.
