Legal Loop Hole Will See Murders Back On The Streets

Funny story written by F Fred Palakon

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

A loop hole in the law has been discovered which could lead to those previously sentenced to life in prison to be back on the streets just hours after their death.

This news will come as a blow to campaigners, following the recent high profile case of the Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe being told he must spent the rest of his life behind bars.

A little known right of inmates who die in prison allows them to be buried in what is known in legal jargon as a "Pet Cemetery."

These were originally designed to allow parents to call forth dark forces and return unnatural life to their children's beloved family pets by burying the animal in a sacred Indian burial ground. However the system is open to abuse and it is not unknown for humans to be buried there in dire circumstances too.

It has come to light that lawyers for Peter Sutcliffe have made arrangements for this to be just the case when he dies.

A spokes man for the mass murderer said:

"My client has the right to live a normal life after he dies. He will have served his sentence and paid his debt to society"

When asked if he thought the convicted killer would kill again if he got out, his lawyer said that it was almost certain but in his own words he said:

"What are you going to do about it?"

An outraged facebook group has been set up to get the law changed so burials in pet cemeteries are reserved for celebrities. Another even more outraged group has been set to keep the law as it is claiming zombies have rights too.

Our reporter asked a Downing Street official where the government stood on the issue of serial killers returning from the grave to continue their ghastly work, they replied:

"Well the government have a lot to do at the moment, can it wait?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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