Future asylum seekers will have to prove they are gay

Written by Jimbo123

Saturday, 10 July 2010

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How the new testing centre might look

Mr T from Cameroon and Priscilla Tickle from Iran have won a landmark immigration appeal, overturning the decision to deport them, which had been based on them being able to conceal their horniness in their barbaric home countries.

However this is likely lead to a tsunami of new claims with everyone from farmers to boxers donning mankinis, thigh boots and make-up and cruising into the local immigration office with the hope of being 'legalized'.

To counter this threat, ministers have suggested adding a gayness test as part the the naturalisation process. A home office spokeswomen commented - "Kissing won't cut the mustard - footballers and piss-artists do long kisses and they're as straight as a die, although 'with tongues' hasn't been ruled out for restricted permits."

Whatever 'act' is ruled to be 'beyond doubt', immigration staff will have any personal reservations tested to the limit since they will be expected to watch up to 100 couples a day 'going at it', including 'torch' work where social taboos prevent the applicant from removing their clothes.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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