Premature Ejaculation Remedy Hits U.K. Shelves Ahead of Schedule

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

image for Premature Ejaculation Remedy Hits U.K. Shelves Ahead of Schedule
What the... Did those come already? Man, that was quick!

LONDON, U.K. - The United Kingdom never had a chance to brace itself for the early release of a new pill designed to prevent premature ejaculation.

Medical trials, conducted to prove that just one tablet of the drug Penirgy can make men last up to three times longer in bed, were concluded nearly three times faster than predicted.

With the unexpected release of the new drug, men can expect to have more control over when they climax even sooner than they thought they would.

However, up to 30% of U.K. pharmacists have reported unforeseen problems associated with the pills' early arrival.

"The lady told me just yesterday not to expect this shipment for another two to four weeks," said one frustrated pharmacist, eyeing several crates of the troublesome pills. "They just dropped off their load, and that was that. I never even had a chance to get ready!"

The pills had already been on sale in several European countries well in advance of expectations.

Maek Mai Dae, head of male sexual health at the British pharmacy chain Floyds, said, "Penirgy has the potential to do as much for men's sexual health as Viagrin."

However, its arrival is not without side effects - overworked pharmacy staff have reported a host of complaints ranging from dizziness to headaches and restlessness as they hastily reorganize shelf space to accommodate cases of the pills that came without warning.

Pharmacists arranged an emergency conference this afternoon to discuss the situation with representatives of the drug's maker.

The pharmacists wore suits to the meeting. The Penirgy representatives came in their pants.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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