Malta - Phallic art might upset the Pope

Funny story written by Mike Roberts

Tuesday, 13 April 2010


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image for Malta - Phallic art might upset the Pope
Pope 'stunned' by how big it is.

A row has erupted in Malta, arguably the most Catholic country in the world, over a phallic shaped piece of art created by Paul Vella Critien.

The artwork, called Colonna Mediterranea and superficially resembling a giant blue penis, will be seen by the Pope as it is on the route he will take during his visit to the island this weekend.

John Schembri, The Mayor of Luqa (the town where the artwork has been displayed since 2006), has described the art work as "vulgar" and "embarrassing", and says that it should be removed "as a sign of respect" for Pope Benedict XVI.

When questioned about the mayor's statement the artist said, "Come on, he's a priest! I'm sure he's seen lots of penises in his time, just think of all the photographic evidence he must have looked through when he was rigorously pursuing paedophile priests. I doubt very much that he's going to find my work even the tiniest bit upsetting."

Upon hearing of the row about the 'giant blue penis' the Vatican immediately dispatched a team of crack photographers to Malta. "Once we have the photographic evidence you can be sure that we will study the alleged penis and its proportions at great length, no pun intended, and pronounce judgement based upon our usual 'marks out of ten' grading system." said Cardinal Hanz Job head of the Vatican's Rude Artworks Department.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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