Great consternation today in Olde London as rumours abound that the legendary ravens of The Tower Of London have all fled - an event said to signal the fall of the British monarchy.
The ravens are reported to have fled en-masse despite their wings being clipped, leaving tourists agape as ruffled Beefeaters tried in vain to round them up and take them back.
Some observers believe that the ravens have reacted in response to a hung parliament and the possibility of a Lib- Con pact which would see David 'Do Nothing Dave' Cameron installed in Downing Street and the UK going nowhere fast - except possibly to the dogs.
"I couldn't believe it," tourist Victor Muldrew told us. "I looked around and there was this bloody raven, bold as brass, legging it up Tower Bridge Approach with a Beefeater in hot pursuit, another one running as fast as its little legs would carry it towards Tower Hill tube station, and another of the little buggers heading for the City."
Another visitor, a Scotsman named Frazer wailed:
"We're all doomed! Doomed I tell ye!"
More as we get it.
