A recent trip - flying low under billowing volcanic clouds - undertaken by "call-me-Dave" to the ex-British colony of Hong Kong has been blown wide open by a startling revelation from the office of Mah-Jong clone tailoring that they are hurriedly producing their first "Clegg-Suit" utilising their patented technology.
"Basically" said the source - This suit enables the wearer to take on the positive points of anyone whose DNA is inserted into the concealed pouch near the crotch. The secret is of course obtaining the DNA "sample".
Apparently Consecrative moles have been hard at work in Liberal Democrat HQ washrooms scraping together all that is required for the suit to function.
This will mean that the two remaining leaders debates will have the impressive spectacle of Gordon Brown flanked by two Nick Cleggs - both of whom will argue against each other to the total confusion of the bewildered slow witted Scottish moron - thus providing riveting entertainment - especially as the "fake" Clegg will from time to time produce steam from his nether regions - owing to the need for DNA venting.
This is an opportunity said "call me Daves" spokesperson - for the public to understand that David is not only more than equal to the Clegg challenge but given the correct environment will emulate him in every way - this has got to be worth a five points surge.
The spokesperson however hurriedly denied that a Gordon Brown, Alec Salmond and Nick Griffin suit had also been ordered - despite the Mah-Jong receipt hanging from his laptop case and several dubious tubes of "DNA" in the Tesco Carrier bag at his feet.