Horror As Man Loses Face

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

image for Horror As Man Loses Face
Tommy Clutterbuck moments after the incident.

Builder and local Surrey resident Tommy Clutterbuck sensationally lost his face yesterday afternoon, around 5:30pm.

The budding brickie sneezed after inhaling a small amount of loosened brick dust, when his face slid off. The manky gloop that was once his mush landed in a bucket of ready mixed plaster.

Business partner and friend, Donny Batfink, who was also at the scene, said "I'm pretty sure it surprised Tommy quite a bit, although it was hard to tell with no facial expressions! He just kind of looked at me with these big bug eyes and a toothy grin!"

The cause of the facial fault has yet to be determined. Doctor Steve Beavis of Lyme Regis said "I've heard of people losing a few fingers, but that was leprosy. And toes, but that was frostbite, no, I've never heard tell of a human actually sneezing their face off before."

The face was set in plaster before the ambulance arrived, so was beyond use. Although it has made for an interesting talking point, as a focal feature on the wall of the lounge to dining room corridor.

Mr Clutterbuck is currently using a rather life like Elvis mask, so as not to disturb passers by.

'Elvis' has left the building trade.

More as we....bless you..

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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