A flat dropped frm BBC Radio 4

Funny story written by Simon Cole

Sunday, 11 April 2010

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There has been some hasty rescheduling of presenters at BBC Radio 4 in the last few weeks. As it has become apparent that the Conservatives may win the election the requirement for flat 'a's has been revised.

Flat 'a's were introduced with the advent of New Labour, and although the dropping of final 't's was never rigorously enforced, it was made clear that it was to be preferred.

Sadly it seems that cat-speak, where 'now' rhymes with 'miaw' and 'few' with 'mew', is to remain for the present.

A spoke person for the BBC said it has an 'all inclusive' policy. S/he would not comment on reports that expenses claims for elocution are being allowed.

Sunday's listeners were as usual treated to programmes being introduced in the traditional dark brown Caribbean accent.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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