London - (Pot/Kettle/Black Mess): Britain's self-confessed top design conman Sir Terrence Conartist says he won't be backing the Tories' Oswald Mosley lookalike David Cameron 'because he's a massive fraud'.
"Truss me," Sir Tel told reporters today, "Cameron's a third rate crook in a first class crook's clothing.
"Everyone in Westmonster knows he's Blair's firstborn, married to a right little minx of dubious extraction.
"What's the betting that ludicrous baby bump's a phantom pregnancy just like Cherie's?"
Mrs Blair's miraculous conception occured after many visits to holistic New Age quack Jack Temple RIP.
His speciality used to be conning desperate IVF-rejects into sitting naked in a 'miracle' yak-skin tepee, drinking glasses of their own urine and chanting We Shall Overcome Some Day.
Lucrative gagging clauses ensured video footage of the gestation empowerment rituals never actually made it into the public domain.
Sam Cam is 69.