Outrage as David Cameron goes cycling without a helmet on his head

Written by Nae mair crap

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

image for Outrage as David Cameron goes cycling without a helmet on his head
careful they don't bump into you Dave

Experienced cyclist and leader of the HisTory party in the UK, David Cameron, dropped a clanger today by riding his bike without wearing a safety helmet. In the UK this is not illegal but is advised.

Our know it all silver spooned, buffoon who wants to be Prime Minister was followed by two Special Branch officers, both cycling, both wearing helmets.

Hairbrush Dave wants maximum in your face coverage and a helmet would obstruct some of that lovely skin of his. He does not follow his daily facial routine to hide it from everyone.

His nightly routine: facial sauna, Clean and Clear facial scrub, cold water rinse then moisturise does not come cheap. Imported from the four corners of the globe, his sea salt, exfoliating mud, avocado soak and natural sponge massage do not come cheap. Neither does his facial therapist who is paid £500 per hour as General Election expenses to be reclaimed by natural smoothie, David.

What happened to your Carbon Footprint, Dave? Offset against cycling to work? Would that include the 4x4 carrying your briefcase that follows you?

His new, exclusive range of men's facial treatments and enhancers "Mon Visage" will be available exclusively in all the best shops soon. Not available in Scotland, banned by the Scottish Parliament because product contains natural, rare, monster shit found only in Loch Ness

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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