London, Wednesday. UK Prime Minister, Mr Gordon Brown, has announced today that, effective from noon tomorrow, the entire nation of Britain will become a one party republican state, with the Monarchy banished abroad and Brown ruling initially by decree.
"I'm sure most people will whole heartedly agree with me that this is the best move for our country" he said. "With control effectively in my hands perhaps now I can get some bloody results round here".
The Labour Prime Minister first hinted he would introduce these autocratic moves at a private "pissup" with friends where he was heard to declare "let's set up a totalitarian state and bugger off the Royals".
Brown has yet to announce what will happen to opposition parties but more than likely he will outlaw their existence and throw the leaders in jail. Labour MPs assembled outside 10 Downing Street after he made the announcement and sang a rousing version of "The Internationale".
The Prime Minister is expected to upgrade now to President for Life, in keeping with past dictators.
He will probably wear a distinctive uniform and strike a pose like Mussolini. The Royal Family have yet to make a statement but if they do Brown will probably arrest them. So, here it is folks, the new Brittania.