BBC, Top Gear, reports with regret the hospitalisation of Mr Jeremy Clarkson, chief dumbass presenter and almost loudest shouter. Hammond, loudest presenter, (for that is how he is addressed by his public school colleagues) is unable to go on alone. James May, quiet as a mouse presenter, logical thinker and the quintessential Englishman, has withdrawn from public life.
They are all so bloody annoyed that Lewis Hamilton has upstaged them all again! If they do stupid, he does crazy. If they embellish, he exaggerates. If they do loony, he does madness.
His latest, selfless act, the Aussie Rules roadshow game, Roo Racing.
Roo racing, requires a reckless car driver, to approach speed humps at excessive speed and requires a madcap take off and landing that results in a write off. In Australia, it is a criminal offence to take part in such races. The penalty, if caught, is deportation to the Colonies, usually, North East Aberdeenshire in Scotland. Here, those found guilty join the rest of the boy racers and local speed merchants.
Here they attempt to join the 9 minute club. Those who career and recklessly complete the 18 miles, from Peterhead to Fraserburgh, in 9 minutes or less are eligible. Work on the oil rigs and on fishing boats makes local youths cash rich and allows them to pay on the nose for ridiculously fast cars. This, excess drinking and substance abuse, contributes to a dangerous combination.
Load of nutters and loads of Hamilton clones. The BBC will not allow their Top Gear trio of trumpets to attempt the 9 minute race. So they have all slunk off in the cream puff.
