Baroness Thatcher was arrested yesterday evening in a pub in Peckham. Police were called to the Man in a Boat pub where Lady Thatch was causing mayhem.
The Landlord Bob Grisly told us "She was fine to start with telling us how she 'sunk the Belgrano and kicked Scargil's ass, but as time went on she got rather lary."
A regular who wished to remain nameless told us how she 'sat on an old gent's knee' and started to sing to him. When the old guy said 'Leev it awt' she grabbed his testicles and squeezed all hard like.
Poor bloke ended up on the flooa in tears. Apparently Thatcher then got to her feet and said 'I will have any one of you in here as this lady's not for turning!' There was some big blokes in there and they didn't say a word, I tell ya guv, she was well mullerd but ard as nails.
A Police spokesperson confirmed they had arrested an old lady but refused to say if it was the Baroness. "Why would we tell you," they said, "it's not like you're the Times."