London - (Rioters): In a move that outguns even the most rabidly paranoid UK tabloid reporting leading conspiracy nutters website TinFoilHatters-R-Us.con has named Gerry McCann as Jon Venables' DNA father.
The Belize-based cyber-rag also says British redtops were shamelessly pilloried by cleverdick shyster libel lawyers during the McCann family's successful defamation lawsuits.
And the damning evidence?
"Check the UK National Poisons Unit vaults under Ten Drowning Street!" is the site's unwavering advice.
"That's where all the Thatcher-era DNA swabs are kept in cryogenic stasis - ahead of a massive corruption cover-up trial in 2012!"
The wesbite's sister organization CorruptBastardsAnonymous.con lays the blame on bent spooks' cold war shenanigans that hid thousands of illegal Soviet immigrants' DNA databases.
"The ghost of Rasputin lives on until a silver bullet finally pierces the hearts of Stalin's evil descendants!" the site's editorial says this weekend.
Vladimir Putin is 69.
