Brown staff to learn martial arts skills

Funny story written by parveen liddy

Monday, 22 February 2010


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Brown: Tried to suffocate with loose skin

Staff at 10 Downing Street are to take classes in the martial art Krav Maga to protect themselves from an increasingly violent and embittered prime minister.

One senior aide was taken to hospital with a crushed laryrx yesterday after Brown finger jabbed her in the throat in what was described as a 'deft Mui Thai move.'

Brown had attempted to hit another member of staff with a roundhouse kick, apparently shouting 'See you Jimmy.'

He was less successful with this move and his outstretched foot caught the edge of a desk.

Brown was in some pain and shouted 'f***ing English c***ts, you've lost me the election' repeatedly for several minutes.

His chief of staff Hamish McFee said last night: 'We have to do something and Krav Maga is a practical self defence system which can be learned quickly.

'No-one wants to see the sort of scenes we had coming home on the plane after Copenhagen when everyone had ignored his 50 days to save the world nonsense.'

On that occasion a drunken Brown had tried to storm the flight deck, and threatened to suffocate a pilot with the lose skin under his neck.

The move is not thought to be a conventional martial arts technique.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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