Gordon Brown has been all over the country's press recently, for allegedly bullying staff at Number 10. Many are reported to have called a Bullying Helpline.
In cases like these, it is necessary to go deeper than the superficial reports, excuses and other. The problem is much deeper than this.
Brown was supposedly bullied at school a great deal, so much so, that one of his classmates kicked his eye in during a game of rugby. Many people who treat their close colleagues like this have often had a miserable past. We spoke to a member of his staff, who wishes to remain anonymous: "One morning, he just woke up, and called down really loud, SALLY! WHERE'S MY BANANAS?. Now, obviously, being his maid, I immediately bought up his bananas. But then, he threw them back in my face, saying that they were too old. I mean, fair enough, they were a couple of days off, but I'd ate one of the pack of ten before hand, just to check (I always do that - he only asks for nine), and it was fine! I don't know what's gotten into him.
Following this, we spoke to his confidential confidence therapist: "He has recently become a very spiritual person, and fears that he has bad karma. As a devoted follower of the same religion, I tried to explain to him that you can get good karma by being nice to people, and not taking your anger out on them. But alas, before I noticed he'd gone, he was on his banana break."
We have also been informed that Brown was watching popular BBC sitcom, "The Thick Of It", which contains a character who is an unpopular, miserable Scottish politician. His therapist explains that he may have seen this, and the power this character exerts on his minions, and wanted to follow suit. In his next meeting, she promises she will bring this up.
We have been assured that we will be updated with the news on his next therapy session.
