The Entertainment & Sporting World was left in turmoil tonight after an announcement by Lewisham's Leading "Artiste" management company.
'Pikey Minger Singer Ltd' (PMS) Issued a shock press release introducing "Coco" as the 4th member of "Top Pop Chart Toppers "Sugababes".
Amelle Berber-Arab, Heidi Scousesnatch and the other one are said to be "Made Up" over the arrival of Ashley Cole who'll sensationally quit Chelsea in the morning, coincidentally right after payday!
Cole explained that it was going to be his first outing as his alter ego "Coco".
"I've been honing my routine in both Premiership & Champion's League changing rooms" Cole added.
"I'm one of the favourite turns in the dressing room, my performance is even more popular than JT's Elephant impersonation" beamed the Chelsea defender.
Cole let it slip that, "Kieron Dyer even tried to give me his phone number once when I was wearing Cheryl's hair extensions"!
Ashley's Mum, Sue Cole (Hackney's leading dinner lady) added that she was glad Cheryl Tweedy wanted a Divorce as she couldn't understand a word the daft Geordie bint said and until recently thought she was French!
Our reporter is looking forward to seeing Ashley, oops Sorry!, "Coco" performing with the other "Babes" at an intimate gig being held in the back room of "The Flying Pig" Pub in Chigwell on Friday night.
