Peter Andre: I'm On Team Tweedy

Funny story written by Hartley

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

image for Peter Andre: I'm On Team Tweedy
Team Tweedy form protective line of defence

Team Andre have been instructed to support Cheryl Cole, following this afternoon's predictable announcement that the nation's sweetheart has separated from her wayward husband Ashley.

Immediately after the announcement was made Peter tweeted an instruction to all Team Andre personnel to go under the name of Team Tweedy until further notice. All team members have strict orders to ensure words of love and support are left for Cheryl on all parts of the internet.

Peter said, "Team Andre is a well oiled machine, ready to spring to my defence on any subject. They are highly trained in commenting on news stories and hanging out in forums to root out anyone who launches and attack on my public image. They will do the same for Cheryl."

Peter sent Stavros Flatley to let Cheryl know Team Tweedy had been put into action. With a huge bowl of Stifado Beef and a bottle of Ouzo, the entertainers arrived at Cheryl's aptly named Hurtmore mansion and did her a little dance to cheer her up.

Cheryl is reported to have sent a message of thanks to Peter Andre, but he said that really wasn't necessary, adding "I'm just a nice guy doing my bit for the cause."

Andre's ex-wife, businesswoman Katie Price, and her transvestite second husband, and former cage-fighter, Alex Reid, are said to be fuming at the decision. Commonly known as KRAP the pair are annoyed that the announcement eclipsed Katie's press conference this afternoon to launch Alex's new line of bras for men.

In an interview an enraged Katie Price said "Cheryl's just selfish and Pete's got no right to support her. The world knows what ME and alex are up to. They know we're launching the bras today. She should've worked round us. It'll be war if she carries this on - remember Chezza never underestimate the Pricey!!! Woo-Hoo!!!"

Alex was unable to comment as Katie has banned him from speaking, but Katie stated "Alex agrees with everything I say."

Ashley Cole was also unavailable for comment as he was pursuing a tracksuit-clad female he spotted on this morning's edition of The Jeremy Kyle Show.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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