Premiership totty crisis: Victoria Beckham calls WAGs/shags/groupies summit

Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

image for Premiership totty crisis: Victoria Beckham calls WAGs/shags/groupies summit
Shag outside the official penalty box area and bang goes the annual long service bonus!

London - (Offside Rule): The emergency meeting comes amid premiership totty relegation fears following the alleged John Terry/Vanessa Perroncel shagging fiasco.

Undisputed Premier League 'godmother' La Beckham has called for an immediate 4-4-2 diamond formation to shore up the WAGs/shags/groupies' position.

The prospect of Chelsea and Egnland captain Terry losing sponsorship £££s millions 'just like Tiger Woods' could mean financial ruin for premiership arm-and-a-leg candy.

"We're talking Isthmian League credit ratings, girls!" Victoria wailed to the horrified gathering.

The crisis summit at the Golden Nuggetz Casino's presidential suite also heard smug-married Colleen Rooney's warning about a possible Standard & Poor downgrade:

"Shag outside the official penalty box area and bang goes the annual long service bonus!" the Man U star striker's missus warned.

Today's emergency summit was told that in future anybody caught turning the Premiership into a hotbed of disrepute will face extremely serious consequences.

Cheryl Tweedy Cole is worth an estimated £25 million.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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