Brown to sell off 'personal possessions'

Funny story written by Kent Pete

Thursday, 31 December 2009

image for Brown to sell off 'personal possessions'

The Prime Minister is preparing to sell a wide range of his personal belongings as part of his plans to tackle Britain's spiralling public debt.

Gordon Brown is to deliver a speech in which he will list a selection of items to be put up for grabs to private bidders.

They include a first addition Harry Potter book, a vast collection of vinyl LP's including a rare single by 70's glam rock band Mott the Hoople, a nasal trimmer rumoured to belong to the late Mrs Thatcher and his family cat Thelma.

In addition the PM is also planning to rent rooms out at number 10 Downing Street, possibly charging up to £500 per week for the central London location.

Mr Brown hopes to raise close to £250,000 when the auction takes place at Sotheby's next week.

Talking to the Spoof's Home Affairs correspondent the PM said: "I am aware a quarter of a million pounds will in no way solve the financial crisis this country is facing. However I hope to lead by example. I would be disappointed if other MP's did not join me in my crusade. I know for a fact that John Prescott has a shirt signed by John Lennon and Peter Mandelson's collection of Medical Antiques is legendary. His Stanton trephine set alone could raise upwards of £10,000"

The auction is a part of Mr Brown's plan to tackle Britain's budget deficit, which is set to hit a record £220bn, or 12% of GDP, this year in the wake of enormous spending to prop up the economy during the credit crunch.

The PM continued: "Many critics might argue that this is too little too late but I believe it is never too late to do too little or indeed too early to do too much"

Spoof Sports correspondent Iver Notion said: "I have absolutely nothing to say on the matter"

Liberal Democrat Treasury spokesman Vince Cable commented: "This is so typical of New Labour. They create the problem but we are supposed to bail them out. What next? Ask the Queen to sell the Crown jewels!"

The Queen was unavailable to comment. However a statement read by Buckingham Palace spokesman said: "We do not believe it would be in the country's best interest to sell off any Royal assets. However if a sufficient offer was received the Palace may consider sanctioning the house arrest of Princess Michael of Kent for up to 6 months"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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