Gordon Brown attacks the "privileged few"

Funny story written by Hootsman

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

image for Gordon Brown attacks the "privileged few"
Gordon Brown

Today, Gordon Brown attacked the Conservatives calling them "the privileged few." He maintains that Cameron's party is only out to help the wealthy elite. He'd rather people remained with the Labour party - the party of the privileged expenses claims.

"We are the down to earth party", he slavered. Just because Blair was educated at Fettes College (Annual day fees: £10,869 - £16,896 and annual full boarding fees: £17,016 - £23,499) we shouldn't assume he was in any way privileged!

Likewise, simply because our Tone was paid £400,000 fee for a three-hour trip, we shouldn't condemn him. Given that he is the world's highest-paid public speaker (earning almost £400,000 for two half-hour speeches) we should be applauding the fact that "one of our own" has done so well for himself.

Anyway - to matters present. Our esteemed Darling of a chancellor in no way came from a privileged upbringing. Wait a minute - he was educated at the private Loretto School in Musselburgh, so let's skip him for a minute.

Michael Martin? There's a down to earth guy. No fancy school upbringing for him. Admittedly he spent £1,400 on chauffeurs to help with the shopping and to visit Celtic Park, but that's not privilege. It's one of the perks of the job - as his his elevation to the Lords.

Ruth Kelly? Privately educated at Sutton High School..... Hmm ... let's have ...

Geoff Hoon - with a property empire worth £1.7 million.

Barbara Follett - With husband she owns two properties in London, one in Hertfordshire, a property in Cape Town and a holiday home in Antigua.... Blast .... let's try ...

Sean Woodward. Hmm ... the fees in his Alma Mater are a paltry £2,000 - £3,000 a term. Bit of a cheapskate that one. Then again, he married into the Sainsbury family and in 2001 had his own butler.

A bit awkward all this. Here's an idea though ... if we continue to manage the economy as we have done for the past few years then no-one will be privileged.... except for our Tony.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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