London - (Gotchabastatrds!): And it's all over bar the Tyburn gibbet for the Prime Monster and his merry band of KGB paedocrats.
A St Andrew's Day dawn raid by the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency is poised to throw the whole despicable lot into jail. Forever.
At last week's top secret meeting of Chief Constables 50 years of accumulated evidence was damning:
Britain owes five trillion pounds to a cabal of Russian oligarchs. And their chief enforcer, one Mr Barack Obama, has just called in the loan to bail out bankrupt chum Shaikh Mohammed of the UAE.
Meanwhile at Thames House MI5 spooks have reopened the files on Labour's Thatcher-fellating, lying, cheating Tory co-conspirators, 'Wackjobs like Cameron, Osborne and Boris Johnson'.
"What in the world have Brits ever done to deserve scumbags like this gunning for power?" COBRA joint chiefs of staff bewailed recently.
As the St Andrews Day dawn breaks over the Palace of SWestmonster a lone distant piper is heard playing the Bowes Lyons Lament.
And the Grim Reaper waits poised for his biggest prize...