Open University space-whiz Professor Colin Pilger says he believes there may be alien life forms living in the crevices on Gordon Ramsay's face.
A crack team of OU scientists have been probing the dark fissures for several months and found a number of small gooey deposits deep inside the fissures. They were at first thought to be scurvy or just sweat gunk but now, after careful analysis, some appear to be previously unknown protoplasms that may have come from the Planet Hollywood (a restaurant where Ramsay once worked as a washer-up).
A spokesman for the OU said: "This is very exciting. Recent botox to the celebrity chef's face may have awoken things that have been dormant inside the cracks for millions of years. He has said that he may even consider incorporating the mysterious goo in some future recipes. He spread some on toast and said it tasted fucking brilliant"
Ramsay was unavailable for comment due to High Court hearings calling for the winding-up of his eponymous London eateries for non-payment of tax.