London Mayor gets 'hands on'

Funny story written by justlaw

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

London Mayor and chair of the Metropolitan Police Authority gets hands on in camden. Boris Johhnson is seen running like a wild maniac through Camden Streets screaming obsenities.

Following the scathing criticism leveled at Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London, by ex-Metropolitan Police Commissionaire, Sir Ian Blair, Boris has decided to show them 'how to do it'.

The Mayoral press office has confirmed various eye witness reports that the London, blonde lycra clad vigilante cyclist is indeed Mayor Boris.

At the first incident in Camden, north London, Boris was seen running through the streets waving an iron bar and shouting 'come back you oiks'. Boris was so enthusiastic in his pursuit that he 'scared the sh*t' out of Ms Penelope Havering of 14 Camden high road.

Ms Havering a witness to the incident explained how she saw this 'large male' with 'wild blonde hair' raging and running down Camden high street with a steel bar held aloft. Havering stated he 'looked like a mad Viking'.

CCTV of the incident has been released, showing the eight PCSO's standing idle and as usual 'watching the world go by'.

The Mayoral office have released a statement from Boris, 'I'm fed up of the incompetence of that Met bunch, over paid and not fit for purpose. I've had enough of the criticism that i'm interfering in operational matters and 'i'd like to see him police the streets'. I am a man of action unlike that whinging Blair, I suggest the Met sit up an listen, I'm the Daddy, the number one and am most certainly holding the reigns.'

The Metropolitan Police were unavailable for comment, though an insider has stated they were 'shitting it' about the next MPA meeting.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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