Blond mop-headed muppet mayor, Boris Johnson was left with his skull in splinters this morning after finding out that being Mayor of London involved more than simply appearing on daytime TV chat shows and farting about like a prat at public events.
Reports indicate that a serious bout of head scratching caused the cranial splinters as 'Good Old Boz' was brought abruptly back to reality by concerns over whether to increase the cost of public transport by a whopping 20 percent - a devastating pocket blow to low income London families -or whether to continue to invest in London's sagging infrastructure.
It appears that the Boris opted to pass the cost on to regular bus and tube users, rather than impose tax penalties on gas-guzzling 4x4 Chelsea Tractors used for the school run and trips to Harvey Nicks and Arrods.
Political analysts are monitoring the situation regarding how a government led by Do Nothing Dave Cameron may perform and be received by the public.
In similar news, brought to us by our Texas Correspondent, London is the most expensive city in the world for public transport. It stands head, shoulders, pecs, abs and jock strap above its closest rival.
More when the bus comes.
