Boris Johnson Bans Curtain Hanging While Driving

Funny story written by victor nicholas

Friday, 16 October 2009

image for Boris Johnson Bans Curtain Hanging While Driving
Queen Victoria Popularized Curtain Hanging.

London - Boris Johnson has called for a ban to curtain hanging while driving. The outspoken mayor believes that "Curtain hanging while driving is a disgraceful habit that creates a safety hazard by taking drivers eyes off the road for protracted periods of time."

"There may have been a time during horse and buggy days that drivers had time for curtain hanging but today it presents an unnecessary risk for other drivers, cyclists and pedestrians particularly when coupled with cell phone usage."

Curtain hanging drivers often take risks with their posterior facing forward and upwards and manage to drive through the skillful use of mirrors, body English and "educated guesswork."

Some say Johnson wants to clamp down on curtain hanging which he thinks would put London in a bad light for the 2012 Olympics along with outstanding gas streetlights and public bath houses in Bethnal Green.

David Cameron, an avid cyclist, says that curtain hanging is a bipartisan issue and that he has no position on the subject. Others say that Cameron plans on taking down Labour over curtain hanging and tossing out Brown who is a well known curtain hanger.

Prince Charles is against the ban and has stated that "Curtain hanging is a proud British tradition that we should not let fall into disuse but celebrate as a nation."

Charles is an avid curtain hanger often practicing it while driving at his estate in Wales wearing a kilt while Camilla spanks his bare bottom with a feather duster and calls him "King."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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