All mounted police in the UK were sacked today. This shock move comes about in the wake of fired drug adviser David Nutt's comments.
Professor Nutt spoke about taking ecstasy being less dangerous than riding a horse. He was quickly relived of his government post by Home Secretary, Alan Johnson.
A spokesman for the Upnorthlands Police Force broke rank to speak with me.
"Aye it's true like, the lot are forrit. There worra root and branch enquiry like." He told us from his police shed. " We found one after another of our mounted officers were high on horse." He said. "So obviously we had to sack the bunch of druggies."
Mr Johnson was unavailable for comment as he's too busy searching for a new drug adviser; also, I never asked him for one. I have reason to believe he's found a lad in Croydon who has advised him he can get an ounce a fiver cheaper, no questions asked.