Home Secretary on the ropes but is she also on thin ice?

Funny story written by PuddyTwat

Saturday, 24 October 2009

image for Home Secretary on the ropes but is she also on thin ice?
She's got some front: Smith denies 'Ice' claims

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith is rumoured to be joining hit TV show Dancing on Ice.

Smith, whose time in office was stained thanks to her husband openly masturbating, has neither confirmed the stories nor denied them.

A spokesperson said: "It's a nice idea but highly unlikely. Ms Smith is expected to go to the House of Lords where, like every other member, she'll show her face every now and again."

ITV's Director of Programmes Bill Hump appeared to contradict this view.

In a leaked memo, Hump wrote: "...Jacqui would be great on Ice. We go back a long way and she's a very flexible girl. I know it looks as if she's enjoys a lunch but she still looks handy. Joking apart, it would be an absolute coup to get her on the show. I know she'd be interested."

When told, skating hero Christopher Dean was said to have reacted with horror. One TV insider claimed he stormed: "F**k me sideways then back to front. Jacqui bloody Smith? Christ! Isn't she the one whose fella likes to crack one out of an evening?"

While Smith denies the claims, other names confirmed include Sir Elton John, Ross Kemp and Dizzee Rascal.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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