Sudden Acute Embarrassment: Cause of trip to A&E

Written by Frank Miller

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

image for Sudden Acute Embarrassment: Cause of trip to A&E
...but it could have been avoided!

A Surrey man was taken to hospital today with a fractured skull brought on by Sudden Acute Embarrassment, or SAE.

He had used a napkin to blown his nose earlier in the day where the nasal discharge was deflected onto his clothes.

"It's really like blowing your nose on you own clothes for all the use a napkin does", says Tissue consultant Jason Fitzpatrick from BlowMe tissues, "There's little containment of expelled nasal contents with much of it deflected back towards the body."

The man only noticed later in the afternoon when he washed his hands after visiting a toilet. He looked in the mirror to find dried snot on his jumper; causing him to hyper ventilate, stagger backwards and slip over.

He hit his face on a urinal (knocking out three teeth) which then fractured his skull when it broke way from the wall and fell on him.

In hospital he said, "I was walking around all day like that before I noticed. Then I woke up with a splitting headache & the taste of blood and piss in my mouth. I also had an operation to pick bits of broken porcelain from my head. It's not how I planned my day."

A Spokesman for RoSPA said, "We advise everyone to ensure they use only proper tissues to blow your nose. Napkins are great for a coffee spill but are rubbish for quality nasal discharge containment."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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