Katie Price just wants to be accepted for what she is - At this weekend's prestigious Cartier All-in Unlimited Polo Tournament, she showed us her stuff!
Royalty was present, in the form of Eddie Chav, the king of the Essex pikeys, who was accompanied by his consort, Queenie Moran. They arrived in a royal blue Transit with rust coloured accessories.
Stripping to her dressage thong, Katie wowed the crowd with a display of sign language that even the profoundly deaf could understand.
As she celebrated her cage-fighter boyfriend's victory in the all-in show jumping on other peoples' heads category, Jordan commented "My great friend Zara Phillips and my childrens' book publishers are going to be delighted with this exposure".
It looks as though this attempt to take her brand downmarket will fail however, as we all know that the silly, desperate tart has unknown shallows left unplumbed.
Unconfirmed rumours persist that Jack Tweed has too much class to accept a date with Jordan.