Written by Joe Cronin

Monday, 17 August 2009

British teens aged between 16-18 will be called up for 12 months service in the Salvation Army from August 2010. The controversial scheme is designed to beat yob culture and decrease Britain's soaring obesity rate.

Field Marshall Eric Guthrie, leader of the Salvation army commented "I'm extremely proud for the Salvation Army to make a difference to the life's of Britain's youth. It gives me great pleasure to finger young people in the right direction". It's hoped if the sheer unattractiveness of the uniform doesn't deter the opposite sex, the ban of alcohol, cigarettes and drugs will.

All new recruits will attend a "Gym for Jesus" containing self defensive classes such as "Kick ass for Christ" and "Swimming against Satan". A government spokesman explained " We propose to replace binge drinking with bible study. With a combination of temperance, discipline and a slavish devotion to God, Britain youth can look forward to a greater future

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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