Jockie Waterstone Admits He's Really Scottish - Swears A Lot

Written by Skoob1999

Friday, 7 August 2009

image for Jockie Waterstone Admits He's Really Scottish - Swears A Lot
Waterstone - Lots Of Swearing.

After monopolising a forum thread and hurling vile abuse at fellow writers on popular satirical website, supposed Cockney, Jockie Waterstone was finally outed by investigative reporters and revealed not to be a 15 year old Scottish girl living in London, but a 73 year old Special Brew drinker who hangs out in Lincoln's Inn Fields with a whole bunch of other paraffin lamps hurling abuse at passers by.

We tracked Waterstone down, found him shamelessly pissing up a tree in a public place and hurling abuse at God. Shaking his fist and snarling as he did so.

We asked Waterstone what his problem was, and why he was pretending to be a 15 year old girl on the popular website.

We then backed off rapidly owing to the aggression and the overwhelming smell of stale urine and body odour.

"Dinnae gi' me any o' your crap ye bas!" Waterstone raved. "Ah've goat enough shite ae ma ane! An keep affae ma fuckin' thread!"

Judging by the stench and the bulging lump in the arse of Waterstones trousers, we weren't about to argue.

After a swift conference held at a safe distance, and some sage words of advice from a passing barrister, we decided that it would be wise to abandon the interview attempt.

We do however commit to another attempt providing we can find a fire hose to wash Waterstone down before we go anywhere near him.

The filthy old fucker.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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