In a further bizarre and unwanted twist the bodies of three Great War veterans are to be exhumed to prove "beyond reasonable doubt" that a 111 year old can indeed just die.
A government spokesperson - who did not wish to be identified for fear of Joanna Lumley making him the object of her next crusade - explained that there was to be a high level visit to Highgate cemetary this week where he was pretty certain there were some soldiers of the Great War buried.
"By exhuming them we will prove that soldiers indeed die at any age and hopefully deflect attention away from the way we did Harry Patch in (please don't report that he mumbled - it sort of slipped out)."
With a further smell of Fish, Rats and furniture polish, the spokesperson then darted back into the Carlton Club.
No one at The Ministry of Sound Nightclub was available to comment further so I went to Pizza Hut instead where I had a large one all to myself.
