Written by Blazing Saddle

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

image for Bernie Ecllestone Was Hitler's Pilot
Previously Unpublished Photograph of Adolf Hitler as the ME262 Flew Between His Legs (credit Eva Braun)

Shocking revelations have today revealed that Formula 1 supremo, Bernie Ecllestone was, from 1940 to 1944, Adolf Hitler's test pilot.

Up to now, historians have assumed that the fabled Hanna Reitsch who once flew a Messerschmidt jet fighter between Hitler's legs in the badminton hall of the Berlin Olympic stadium had been the most likely candidate.

Studies of the cockpit architecture of the recently unearthed Nazi Stealth Bomber have revealed that the pilot's seat has two near-symmetrical cutouts that have been designed to cradle a pair of testicles in high-G manoeuvres.

Mr Ecllestone has today made the following statement:

"I was never really a woman. The day I flew - as Hana - the ME262 between Hitler's legs I knew that I had balls. Once I landed from that sortie, I approached Dr Mengele and he carried out the operation.

The testicle receptacles in the stealth 'plane seat are because I decided to have a vasectomy soon after the gender reassignment and my nuts came up like baseballs".

When questioned, Mr Ecllestone said that he used baseballs rather than snooker balls as a comparison beause he was "whisked away to the USA with Werner von Braun and all the other experts after the war".

Mr Ecllestone went on to comment "Where did you think the inspiration for the Space Shuttle came from - Pittsburgh"?

Mr Ecllestone was whisked away before further damaging quotes could be recorded.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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