Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 4 July 2009

image for Bradford Factory Scuppered
The Once Dark Satanic Bradford factory. Now Derelict.

A Bradford factory, which once used a convoluted method of calculating employee absence from the workplace has finally been scuppered by plucky employee Arturo Scargillo, a trades union member who decided to take them on at their own game when threatened with disciplinary action for being sick, after eleven months of continuous work attendance, often in challenging conditions.

When threatened with disciplinary action by factory bosses, Scargillo went straight home to formulate a battle strategy, whereby he would test the factory's ludicrous calculatory methods to the limit.

Following a prolonged procedural battle, Scargillo took his case to an industrial tribunal, then to the appeal courts, where he was finally awarded all the factory's assets by way of damages.

"It just needed somebody to take them on and challenge the logic of their ludicrous point scoring system," a jubilant Scargillo told us. "And once it was exposed, it was revealed as the nonsensical, pile of idiotic so-called logic that it is. Or was, I should say. A x CC squared + shoe size, divided by the registration number of your neighbour's car, does not necessarily lead to the meaning of life."

The Bradford Factory in question is currently overgrown with weeds and derelict.

A low grade ex-management aspiree was spotted by us, weeping at the sight of the derelict shell, and heard muttering: "First I lost my overwhelming sense of power and self importance, then I lost my job, then I lost everything I ever had. The car was repossessed, likewise the house. The wife left for a better man and the kids hate me. Now I'm just another bum on the street. That Bradford Factory was all I had. I based a whole career on implementing that stupid equation."

More workplace attendance related wankery as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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