Today, a reputable E-Buy customer who went to collect some radiator covers in Berkshire, narrowly averted disaster following a tape measure failure and a sat-nav nightmare.
Problem number one originated with a sat-nav error which resulted in the hapless customer driving down the same stretch of road seventeen times.
The second major error was in the measurements, as there was no way that the larger of the three radiator covers would fit in the van. The upshot of which being that the E-Buy customer's husband ended up tearing chunks of flesh off his knuckles whilst attaching elasticated strapping to strap the thing to the roof rack, rather than having it jammed against the side of his face for eighty or so miles.
A brief reprise then occurred as the lucky, bid-winning couple then went to Windsor Castle to see the Queen. Despite paying a portion of the Royal's wages, the couple were roundly snubbed, and not invited in for a cup of tea and a slice of cake.
Undeterred, they went to Micky-Dee's in the shadow of the castle and had a burger. Followed by a couple of bevvies in the bar next door, a walk down the river, amusingly watching some swans pecking the shit out of some ducks.
Some lounging about drinking alcohol and taking the piss out of passers by in a pub opposite the station ensued.
The sat-nav then messed up again, sending the hapless couple hurtling into west London before Mr S decided to ignore the sat-nav and get the couple home, using no more than a sense of direction and a knowledge of Britain's road network.
Accounting expenses, Mr S reckoned the trip cost in the region of £90 plus.
Equilibrium was restored eventually by a visit to the local Thrasher's off licence.
The radiator covers didn't fit...
Still, Windsor remains a pleasant place to while away an hour or three.
More castle related crap as we get it.