In breaking news, celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has announced that he has become a physiological phenomena, a transformer. Yes, the foul mouthed Scot says he can transform himself into GORDON RAMSAY malevolent mysoginistic homophobic narcissistic monster of the British colonies.
Following his recent trip to the antipodes, Ramsay achieved the remarkable feat by beating up every pillar of society who he felt needed upbraiding. The TV chef says that once he felt very vulnerable but under this new guise he believes that he can bully and belittle any one he rightfully chooses.
Gordon feels so powerful he has even considered his fellow Scot Mr Brown's Prime Ministership. God help the earth if Ramsay gets that far. Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has expressed horror at this latest development and he fears that Ramsay will do something very drastic in the foreseeable future.
NB Ramsay has just eaten Milton Keynes and is on his way to Bolton. Police advise residents to evacuate for their own good.