Gordon Ramsay 'shames' restaurant owner and staff to death!

Funny story written by Khadija

Tuesday, 21 April 2009


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Jesus Fenandez 'shamed' to death by Ramsay's foul-mouthed tirade!

Craggy-faced filthy-mouthed Ramsay, 90 shamed a New York restaurant owner to death in his latest series of "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares"

The struggling Bolivian restaurant owner approached Ramsay's program as the business was $1.50 in debt. Ramsay who also has a restaurant in New York told the owner he was a filthy, effin, lazy-eyed, thieving, spineless, slack-jawed, cock-breathed, workshy, tight-fisted, retarded, cheating, dirty, stinking, fish- molesting, potato-raping, dishonest, conceited, money-grabbing, phony ignoramus, within two seconds of meeting him.

Mr Jesus Fernandez, 39 who innocently held out his hand to shake Gordon's plates, had only just finished steam-cleaning the waitresses; found the British Chef to much to take and drop dead on the spot from the 'shame'. With this Gordon clapped his hands, slapped his thighs and told the rest of the staff to get on with the job of running a restaurant.

As Mr Fernandez lay on the floor, stiffening. Gordon asked to sample the restaurant's food and addressed the camera while criticising the meal. Waitress Tammy Faye gave Mr Ramsay his starter a tureen of onion soup and cornmeal bread.

Gordon took a sip and spat the soup on the floor with this Miss Faye also passed away from humiliation. Gordon turned to the camera and said " This restaurant really has problems" and criticised the decor, which also dropped dead.

Gordon had six more courses proclaiming to hate each one even more than the first. He also managed to insult six more waitress, one sous chef and a cleaning lady to death.

Gordon worked his usual magic, slapping his thighs, clapping his hands, pointing with his thumb and giving the restaurant a new makeover and filling it with customers. Sadly none of the original staff were there to see the re-launch as they had either been sworn or shamed to death.

At the end of the program Ramsay talked with sincerity to the camera, clapped his hands and said wistfully "My work here is done". He turned his back and walked away from the restaurant like David Banner in the closing credits of 'The Incredible Hulk' used to do - Remember?

Gordon's 'Kitchen Nightmares' can be seen on a TV station near you - as we love to see people humiliated, as long as it's not us.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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