On the back of the recent spate of government resignations, the Prime Minister has appointed Fred the Shred as the newly created Expenses Tzar.
According to the Number Ten press office, the Prime Minister felt he had a duty to the remaining ministers and Labour MPs to maximise their expense claims prior to the Conservatives taking over command of the country.
He felt that given Fred's fabulous track record of sending a company £20 billion into the red, having to sack nearly 5,000 employees as a result, yet being able to walk away and retire with an annual £700,000 pension 15 years before the rest of us can even think of retiring, the Prime Minister felt he was THE iconic and best man for the job.
The spokseman added that the government had a duty to the members of the House of Commons to find ways they could claim for days out at Alton Towers, Pot Noodles, MP3 players, fish and chip takeaways and even lottery tickets, all of course at the public expense before their respective tenures in Government ended.
