Michael Jackson to stand in East Cheam by-election

Funny story written by matwil

Saturday, 23 May 2009

image for Michael Jackson to stand in East Cheam by-election
'Don't mention Tory sleaze, chaps. Even Jackson is less of a crim than MPs'

Pop singer and child welfare expert Michael Jackson today said he was going to stand as a candidate in the forthcoming East Cheam by-election, brought on by the resignation of current MP, Sir Henry Porcine-Trofflehurst.

When asked what policies he would be promoting, the singer said: 'Well, obviously my knowledge of children will be my number one priority, and my second one will be the permanent armed security team, that will be needed in London every time I appear in public.'

'Because Londoners adore me, and my track record with helpless little children! So I'll be mobbed by admirers wherever I go.'

Other candidates in the by-election include a convicted fraudster, a rooftop housebreaker, an armed robber, two people wanted for doing a property deal with a man wanted for theft in Australia, and the entire east wing of Wandsworth Prison.

Every one of them standing for the Labour Party. The Sleaze Party candidate, Reginald Vice-Snarflington-Fforbes-d'Moathamptonshire de la Snoutbasquet of that Silkpurse was too busy polishing up his Old Etonian accent up to be available for comment.

David Cameron is ridiculous.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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