Douglas Hogg Pulls Up Drawbridge To Avoid Being 'Demoated'

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

image for Douglas Hogg Pulls Up Drawbridge To Avoid Being 'Demoated'
The drawbridge is up at Westminster as well

More chaos at the Commons this lunchtime, after it was announced that Douglas Hogg, the man who claimed more than £2,200 on his MPs expenses for 'moat clearance', had 'pulled up his drawbridge', and is to resign from politics.

Hogg, who denied having his snout in the trough, has now come to realise that he is bacon, and the Dishonourable Gentleman has, at last, done the honourable thing.

Mr Hogg claims that he did nothing wrong, and last week said that he believed his position was well-defended from opposing and invading forces. He said his fortifications were insurmountable, and that he could hold out against attack for weeks if necessary.

The Conservative MP for Sleaford and North Hykeham said all his claims, including the 'moat clearance', had been agreed with the fees office, but this morning, staff there shrugged their shoulders and said they didn't know what the out-of-touch, fiddling old bastard was talking about.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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