London - (Sup-Prime Ministerial Mess): MPs of all parties are to stage a mass sit-in outside Parliament next week in a bid to regain the hush money that has been taken away from them in the House of Commons expenses fiasco.
A police probe into a reported £500 million bender has resulted in a mass threat to a return to the traditional 'brown envelope' arrangements popularised during Conservative administrations.
"At least under Margaret Thatcher you got regular bungs from the Kray Twins or the Brinks-Matt bullion heist gang," Dave Snout-Trough (Con. Pratts Bottom) told reporters today, "in return for turning a blind eye to, say, the Westminster homes-for-votes scandal."
A 600 signature petition is to be delivered to No 10 on Monday threatening to publish itemised expenses of Cabinet spouses 'all the way back to Cherie Blair's royal pardon for starting the Iraq War'.
Prime Monster Gorgon Brown may indeed after all be 'psychologically floored'.