An evil Glaswegian pervert who killed three cats appeared in court yesterday and will be sentenced next month. The unnamed pervert, a fat bastard who can't find a girlfriend allegedly got his kicks from torturing cats, and in three cases killing them.
Archivists believe that this is the first time anyone in the history of the city of Glasgow has been accused of cat-fiddling.
The accused was spat at and threatened as he left the sheriff's court, and somebody knocked his baseball cap off. It is thought that the defendant will be forced to undergo psychiatric treatment and pay a big fine, but will escape a prison sentence.
Cat lovers though, have other ideas. One told us:
"I've heard a rumour that some cat people are going to kidnap the vile bastard and throw him in the lion's cage at Edinburgh zoo. It is just a rumour mind. Heh heh."
More as we get it.