It was reported today that Norfolk Police made a grim discovery in a field near Stalham. A human arse semi buried on the edge of a newly planted potato field next to the A149.
DC Dick Bone investigating the whereabouts of the owner of the arse said, 'acting on a tip off received from an anonymous caller, Norfolk Police discovered the arse at around 7.00am this morning.
The arse may have been here for some time, ramblers and dog walkers could have actually noticed the arse numerous times before, but mistakenly took it as a parking groove for the local farmer's bicycle'.
Dick Bone went on to add, 'the arse is white and hairy, with a boil on the left cheek. In addition, it is rather flabby around the edges with a dirty crack down the middle. Anyone with any information please contact their Local Nick.
Local spud farmer and part time Norwich City supporter Gaylord Smudger seemed genuinely taken aback at the discovery in his field. 'I'm really shocked my beauty', Smudger said, 'how ken somebody lose an arse? Perhaps somebody wuz taken short and it fell off when they dropped thair trousers. I Dunno boy, puzzlin' hint it?'
It is thought there are not many leads up to now, so hopefully Police can get to the bottom of the mystery arse as soon as possible.
More to follow
